RED

So along we were walking one lunchtime, after an hour of piss-taking on the streets, only to come across this ripper. Casually chatting on his mobile phone, unaware of the looks...(well he was probably aware of the looks he was copping - you don't dress like this for zero reaction)...

Yes, that is a red jumper. Yes, it is teamed with red pants. And yes, the look is finished with red shoes.

But wait, there's more.

Unfortunately you can't see it that well here as I had to be as inconspicuous as possible, BUT...yes, his hands and face are painted red. Actually, his entire head was painted red (he had a buzz cut).

Maybe he likes red. A LOT.

I have nothing left to say on this.

...The 'Trendy' Shops...

So of late, I have noticed that some of the more popular clothing retailers are retailing some very interesting fashion lines. Many of which I think make one look like they are draped in, well, curtains. Or a rug.

There is only so much a girl can do on an hour lunchbreak every day, so on days where boredom sets in, or shit days where we need cheering up, me and a colleague will venture out to the world of retail, and play dress ups in the items we find amusing.

So, I give to you, a collection of pictures. Clothes, headwear, and shoes.

Let's start with the shoes...

I give to you, the peeptoe tassel shoes. Unfortunately, due to the black colour of the shoe, the tassel detail is not overly noticeable. But believe me, they are there, in all their glory. Very 90's with chunky heels.

Next, we have the zebra print. Not only is it zebra print, but it is furry, and with wedged heel. Now I know animal print has made a comeback of late, but there are certain things that should have stayed in the zoo. Furry zebra printed wedges included.

Next on the radar is - well - I am not even sure what I would call these. Bowling-shoe-meets-sandle-meets-corset-meets-wedge-heel. Not even sure I need to say any more than that - I will leave the thoughts to you guys.

And now we will move onto head wear.

I am actually blaming Carrie Bradshaw for this one. She can pull off a lot of fashion faux-pas and make them look fashionable, but this is one that should have stayed in the dressing room. The fake turban. Now - I am all for people sporting turbans as part of their tradition - but for goodness sake - it is certainly NOT a fashion statement - and I couldn't care less if Armani himself declared otherwise.

OK - time to remind you all that I live in BRISBANE. That's right - NOT RUSSIA. Brisbane doesn't exactly have the same kind of climate that Eskimos are used to. It's a cute hat but seriously - where the f**k does one wear it?

And finally, the picnic rug-cum-blanket-cum-poncho, teamed with what else but a Panda hat? I mean, why wouldn't you?

I would at this point like to thank my lovely workmate for being a good sport and letting me post her picture (OK so I had to smudge her face to protect her identity - I think more because she didn't want people seeing her dressed like this than anything else).

So, I say, welcome to Brisbane people.

Melbourne

So I have had a few special guest contributers of late, and this post brings another. Credit to the lovely Mish for sending through this rather special find from St Kilda in Melbourne:

This, my friends, is what I call a major SCORE!!!

Let's start with the person on the left, let's call her 'Subject A':

This is the lesser of the evils, by a long shot. I can't see much of what she has on but I think if I could, I would probably actually like her dress - it does look quite cute. Unfortunately it is being hidden by what I could only call a very hideous bag. Kind of looks like a sack of potatoes, which appears to be shades of red with blue? flecks. I am thinking we were trying to colour co-ordinate with the red shoes, but missed the colour. By a mile. Shame - I probably would have liked the ensemble otherwise.

Let's now go to the figure on the right, which to save on confusion, I will refer to as 'Subject B'. There is so much going on right here, I'm just gonna start at the top and work my way down.

So Melbourne is cold, and therefore it's natural to rug up, specially in winter. But there is a difference between rugging up, and doing your best Big Bird impersonation (there is, isn't there??)

So then we go to the skirt. Black skirt - not a bad choice. Probably my second favourite part of the outfit (I quite like her bag. Maybe not with the outfit, but I do like it). So we have a canary yellow top matched with a black skirt. The colour combination once again is fine - if you left it at that. When you team them up, and think of animals, you would probably think 'tiger'. Well I would. Unless you then throw some leopard print tights into the mix. Confused much??

But wait...there's more!!

Ankle cowboy boots, complete with badges. I *think* they may be suede (or faux suede) - but whatever. I don't even know if I can comment further on this. I leave it with you, readers.